Christmas with the Shows

Christmas at the Show house is always entertaining. We spend every Christmas Eve at Jon's parents house and kick off the night at our annual Japanese steak house. Afterwards, we come back to the house and open presents and fight over lottery tickets. Below are a few pics from the evening

Twas the night before Christmas.....

Cooper and Papa, just before bedtime.

This is the superfly leather chair Grandma & Grandpa Show got Coop...it's amazing & he loves it.

This is at the Japanese steak house...Cooper was thoroughly amused.

Christmas is not complete without dancing/light-up hats....

Make Like A Tree

This year's trip to get the xmas tree was a little more or less eventful, depending upon how you want to look at it. Last year he slept through it. This year he was awake but we forgot to charge the camera, which is why the following photos look like stills taken with the same camera that shot the Kennedy assassination. Michelle was particularly excited to get the tree. I could tell because she was using her falsetto signing voice on the way home to sing along with the xmas song radio station.


This was one of the few usable shots. Turns out his jacket has a reflective logo, which pretty much makes every shot look like he's on fire. I think he's staring at the chainsaw. Who says we aren't safe parents?


Here's Michelle, Cooper and a tree. I should point out that we didn't buy this particular tree. Shortly before this Michelle tried to pose for three other pictures while Cooper played with a stick. She eventually grabbed the stick and tossed it over her shoulder, nearly impaling a young girl.



I got Cooper some ornaments. One's a train and the other was a rocket ship. He tried to eat both of them.


Cooper trying to put his ornaments on the tree.


To be honest, neither of us like having our picture taken, which makes it amazing this blog has lasted as long as it has.

Gobble

Cooper's second Turkey Day came and went with a few highs and few lows (depending upon whether or not you were the one who got peed on. More on that later). Michelle and I run the Turkey Trot race in Charlotte every year and this year the Coopster joined us.

Here we are about 30 minutes before the race. Michelle isn't in the picture because she went to CVS to empty the bladder before the start. One shouldn't run on a full bladder, as I learned about halfway into the race (more on that later). Cooper's smirking here because he's bundled up and about to be pushed 8 kilometers, and he knows I'm freezing and running.


This is obviously pre-race. You can tell the difference because we're still smiling. The people behind us complained about 20 yards into the race because you're technically not supposed to push baby strollers. They blew by us and we passed them at the second mile marker.


If you squint and look very closely, you'll see the parking garage in the background that served as my public toilet. You'll also notice that Cooper is napping, just to rub it in.


I ran ahead the last quarter mile to catch a shot of Michelle and Cooper crossing the finish line. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to zoom in iPhoto, or you could see the look of determination on Michelle's face.


We headed up to Burke and Melinda's for Turkey Day (Or as I like to call it, Male Chauvinism Thursday). Cooper decided not to take a nap all day. I caught this shot on the back porch.


Pre-feast. Michelle taught Cooper the sign for "more," which is banging your fists together. He hadn't even eaten yet, so my assumption is that he has no idea what he's doing.


Grandma, Cooper and his first taste of Thanksgiving goodness.


Is there something on my face? I think there's something on my face.



Brrrrrrrp


We stripped Cooper down after dinner and made sure that we didn't pick him up because he's notorius for peeing or pooping on things immediately after dinner. Grandma found out the hard way when Cooper emptied his bladder on her shirt. You'll notice the immense look of satisfaction on his face. Thanks for dinner Grandma!

Raking It In

A couple more pictures from my phone of Cooper "allegedly" helping me rake the yard. FYI: What it actually entailed was Michelle, Cooper and Grandma sitting on the porch watching me rake and bag.


Sometimes I like to ad-lib Cooper's thoughts. Here he's saying: "Really dummy? How would you like it if a bald giant dropped you in a pile of dirty leaves? Come here and clean my diaper."

More good news on the future costs associated with raising a child. I played golf yesterday and on my way to the course I drove by Cooper's 16th birthday present. My favorite part of about this picture is the step ladder in the background, which I assume they have to use to get into the car. Who said station wagons weren't dope?

The smell of fall...

FINALLY...we have a new camera!!!!!!

Melinda & Jon decided to have a "leaf off" to see who had a better leaf blower. Melinda won...by a landslide. She sort of turns into a different person with her leaf blower, it's rather entertaining (and borderline frightening...LOL!!).

She really got into it....

Cooper's expression consisted of fear and bewilderment


Coop decided to pitch in...


Of course we needed a bath last night....it was fun day...sunny & 70!!!!

Make Like A Tree

Some people bring children into this world because they believe its necessary to continue the evolutionary process. Some have no friends and are allergic to dogs, ergo, they make babies. These people's homes usually smell like casserole. I decided to bring children into this world because it was easier than finding a lawn crew in the fall of 2007. Seriously, landscapers in Charlotte put you on a six-month waiting list in 2007. Now there's millionaire bankers trying to get jobs as landscapers.

I tell you this because it's leaf season again. Things you never think about when you buy a house: Those majestic old trees will someday shed their bounty all over your lawn, and then stand over and look at you as you pick it up. I equate it to a dog pooping in the road and staring at you while you scoop it into a bag. Except opposite. Kind of.

Anyway, the leaf raking has begun and Cooper, who I thought would be able to grasp a rake at this point since he recently started walking, has not been much of a help. He mostly just tried to eat the leaves, which is kind of like a human mulcher. Think about it .... yeah, it's gross. But I guess he's helping in the best way he knows how.



--Jon

Wild Hogs

Sometimes the boys just have to hit the open road. Cooper and I saddled up Saturday on our new bike rig and rode around town. We started at the coffee shop at 7am, where I introduced Cooper to the nectar of espresso. This picture was taken as he was taunting a two-year-old wearing striped pajamas. Dudes don't wear striped PJs outside the house. They wear rocketships.


After a trip home for a brief nap, we hit the asphault again. Here's Cooper on the back of the rig. I'm pretty sure the helmet doesn't fit, but it keeps us from getting disapproving looks from yuppie parents in their SUVs.


After lunch, we headed a few blocks away to the park. Cooper loves the park. Not because he can play on the equipment, but because there are older women there. It makes me feel old when he refers to 8 year olds as "cougars." While on the swings, we saw someone roll up in a similar rig as ours so we headed over to check out their setup. That's when this guy got off his bike, unloaded his kid from the back and proceeded to hang out at the kids park on Saturday afternoon. If they don't let sex offenders near the park, they shouldn't let men in bike outfits, either.


I made the executive decision to get away from "Mandex" so we headed over to the soccer fields. There's something about morning soccer games and coffee, and afternoon soccer games and Bloody Marys that I'm distinctly looking forward to. Here's a couple shots from the fields. Please pay special attention to his cankles.




After a few hours, Cooper needed to be downwind from me due to the giant log in his diaper and I needed a beer, so we headed back toward the bike. But not before I realized that the yuppy moms were giving me weird looks. I think they thought I spent all afternoon at the park with my kid while flipping through my Blackberry, when I was just taking pictures.

One down, 17 to go

Cooper got a little surprise this morning when he woke up. Instead of coffee breath and eye boogers he got a cupcake and a present. Yes, we've all survived 365 days. As I post this (at around 8:15), a year ago Michelle was moaning like a pig on the way to slaughter and I was waking up from a few hours nap. Around 9am we were joined by the Greek birth giver, who managed to assuage Michelle's pain ... well, zero actually, because four hours later Michelle agreed to finally have pain medication shot in her spine. Minutes later, she shot out Cooper. People say birth makes you believe in a higher spirit. Those people have never gone through a 38 hour labor with their wives.

Here's a video from this morning. After months of organic yogurt and fruit I figured it was fine to shove a cupcake in his gut. Bonus footage: me signing the first few bars of Happy Birthday .... acappella. Cooper refused to blow out his candles, which I fear is the first of innumerable times he will do the exact opposite of what I say, and then poop in his pants.



Some other photos of the cupcake carnage. I think this was the first time he ever ate sugar, and he spent the ensuing 30 minutes barking at the dog across the street while laughing like a comic book criminal.
He employed a double-fisted squeeze and chomp method, which I believe was developed by the French in the early 1500s. This scared me, except Cooper has not developed insufferable body odor, which made me feel better.
There was a brief moment here where his hands began shaking and he looked up at me as if to say, "Is it possible to boil this in a spoon and inject it into my toes?" I decided it was time to wrap things up.

I turned away and for a brief moment Cooper began chewing on his fingers. Not playful gnawing like most kids ... he was trying to eat the sugary crust around his hands. I thought about giving him another cupcake tonight when I get home, but decided against it. After all, Michelle had to leave on a three day trip tonight and we're all alone.

Cooper was born around 3:30ish -- having the common sense to pop out 30 minutes before the Red Sox playoff game so the doctor could polish everything off. I think these were the first pictures take of him.

The Greek birth giver (I think they're actually called Dulas, or something like that) finally left and promised to return in a few weeks to teach Michelle how to perform infant massage. Cooper might be a toddler before she ever comes back. Michelle fell asleep shortly after and Cooper and I spent our first 30 minutes together watching baseball. The Red Sox lost that game, and the one after it, and also got swept this year, so I fear I may have reintroduced the Curse of the Bambino. But really, what are the odds they go another lifetime without winning a World Series?


I digress. Happy Birthday buddy.

A few updates

My camera has been broken for a few weeks and apparently Wolf Camera decided to shut down!! Anyhow, I found a camera store today so I'll take it in this week and get it fixed so I can keep blogging about Coop!! Below are a few pics from the last few weeks.

Jon & Cooper out of the shower....Coop's wrap is a hand towel.

Aunt Andrea came to visit for Jill's Bachelorette weekend and stayed a few extra days to hang out and watch Cooper. They spent hour in the kiddie pool soaking up the sun.

Grr....I'm going to eat you!!!

We'll Lead As Two Kings

Finally, the men get a weekend alone and access to the blog (Please note Tenacious D reference in the title of this post). Cooper and I (Jon) spent the weekend living like Kings since Michelle took off to the mountains for Jill's bachelorette party. They spent two days getting massages and talking about their feelings. We spent 48 hours in Man Town.


A massage did sound nice, so Cooper and I went to Brookstone and got chair massages. The manager said something about age limits and safety. Cooper farted.


After the massage we decided to hit the tattoo parlor. Cooper wanted to get a tat that had a deeper meaning for him. He ultimately settled on "I heart boob."


On Saturday morning we passed the guy from "Can't Buy Me Love." He has not aged well. Two more lawns, though, and Ronnie will finally be able to get that telescope. For laughs, we waited until it got dark, lit a paper bag of poop and put it on his front door step.


Smoothies and the mall? Nope. Black coffee and Lowe's.


Nothing like a little music to get the Coopster ready for nap time. Amy Mann sucks. Alice in Chains rules. Facelift. Bleed the Freak. So yeah.




Sure, the iPod has songs about female angst. It also has Metallica. And Metallica also rules.


Michelle made some food and labeled it for me, in case I got dementia halfway through the weekend and forgot the bowl of pureed orange stuff in the fridge was for Cooper. Instead of sticking to the menu we decided to free wheel it. Peas + carrots + oatmeal + tofu = a balanced dinner. Steak + potato = chest hair. And chest hair is what the ladies want.


Speaking of ladies, after dinner and drinks, Cooper decided it was time to make some booty calls. He tried texting the girls from daycare on his cell but couldn't get anyone to hit him back. Beotches.


Saw Ronnie again on Sunday. He was not happy about the flaming bag of poop.