Drive Time

Cooper and I drove Michelle to the airport this morning. She's spending Father's Day at Pebble Beach for the US Open. I'm spending it with the Coopster. We had our first driving lesson on the way home. Much like his mom, Coop spends more time fiddling with the buttons than actually watching the road.

Son of a Beach

We took the Coopster down to Seabrook Island with some friends the week after Memorial Day weekend. We did the same trip with the same people almost the same weekend as last year, so it's funny to look back at the shots from 2009. For example, last year Cooper spent most of the time crawling around and eating the sand. This year he spend most of the time drinking the salt water. Last year he spent one night during the trip screaming from 3am to 6am. This year he spent one night screaming from 3am to 6am. The images are pretty self-explanatory, so I'll refrain from my usual wisecracks. I will note, however, that for some reason I seem to be taking a lot of naked shots lately. Partly because it cracks me up. Partly because the shape of his body is hilarious. Partly because he's one of the few toddlers who knows exactly where his "pee pee" is but has never seen it due to an exceeding large man gut. Mostly because it makes Michelle moderately uncomfortable being the mom of the kid running around chasing 9-yr-old girls while grabbing himself.


This one's a little dark because I had the camera set on "beach." One would think that the beach setting would be the best one to capture a picture of mother and son on the beach. One would be wrong.

There are some parents who are great "toy parents." They have electric cars and battery powered whozawhatzitz. We're not those people. Here, Cooper is playing with a plastic shovel in the ocean. We occasionally go kayaking on the lake and he loves playing with the paddle. He kept slapping the water with the paddle and laughing. Who needs toys?

I call this the "Mario Batali" shot. Large gut. Baseball hat. Crocs.


Though we are not religiously affiliated, we have decided to go with the time-honored Jewish tradition of not cutting Cooper's hair until he's three years old. Michelle wishes she still had blond hair. I wish I still had hair. Our child will suffer extreme discomfort because of this.

Hello ladies. My name is Cooper. This is my pooper.

Tasteful nude shot ...

Less tasteful nude shot ...



Sometimes the dudes need a moment together ... even if one of those dudes is in the process of peeing on the chest of the other dude. Next time I might leave the diaper on a little longer ...

Cleaning Crew

Michelle comes home today after a seven-day trip to Utah and Las Vegas, during which time Cooper and I have managed to destroy the house. I read a story about a study that said marriages are better off when spouses have divisions of labor in the household. In the Show household, I clean my toilet and Michelle cleans everything else. So needless to say, I don't keep up with the housework when she's gone. The nice thing, of course, is that a little over two years ago we decided to bring a manual laborer into this world. Here he is filling up the dishwasher. I managed to use the same coffee cup every day for a week.


In college I once went an entire semester without cleaning my sheets. Michelle cleans the sheets like once a week. Cooper is pretty good as putting the fitted sheet on but he stinks with the pillow cases. We're learning, though. I think in this shot he was distracted by the sound of an airplane outside.


And the floors. Listen, I don't clean floors. I didn't live in a house with a vacuum cleaner until I got married. At least twice a week, I'm told to leave the house so Michelle can double Swiffer the floors. One dry Swiffer followed by one wet Swiffer. There's no way in hell I'm cleaning the floors. Cooper seems to like it. He even Swiffered the shelves; at least the ones he can reach. And he hit the fireplace hearth, which I don't even think Michelle gets.

Talent Show

Cooper and I made our nearly daily trek to the mall yesterday. We hit the bookstore where they have a train set and a pile of blocks. Then we stroll by Abercrombie and Fitch, where Cooper dances in the expansive entryway. After terrorizing the middle of the mall by meandering around like a drunk and refusing to get out of anyone's way, we go look at the fountain. On our way out of the mall last night we noticed that there was a model search going on, where you could have your picture taken and walk the runway in the hopes of getting noticed by a low-level talent agency. *We were bored and I had another hour to kill, so I entered Cooper in the toddler competition. He got to walk to the end of the catwalk, spin, and then walk back.


The lady in charge said he had great form but needed to lose 10 pounds if he had any aspirations of making it to Fashion Week next year in NYC. Also, she was bothered when he ran toward the picture of the woman in the background while yelling MAMA MAMA MAMA.

* Everything written after the asterisk is made up. I needed a better story to go along with the picture.

Man Up

Once again, Michelle was unwise enough to leave me in charge of our son for an extended period of time. The last time this happened we were scolded by an employee of Brookstone.

Here's a picture of Cooper blowing a kiss goodbye to his mother (and his innocence).

Cooper trying on a little pig hat at the bookstore. The bookstore has a Thomas the Train set that they allow you to use for free. Cooper tends to get bored and wander the children's section while pulling things off the shelf. That usually leads to this extremely happy looking woman asking us to leave or return to the train area ....

I like to think she took this job after she was fired by an elementary school for failing to wear a hairnet while she served food.

We passed by Cooper Dr at one point. Had to pull over and take a picture. If anyone knows of a Show Rd or Show Dr please let me know. I'd like to compete the picture.

We went to a little league game for a while. People look at you weird when you show up to a little league game and don't have a kid playing. At least now I have a kid to take with me. It used to be a little awkward when I did it without a kid. This ballpark has chili dogs so we go there. Mmmm ... chili dogs.

Michelle and Cooper listen to a lot of music like Black Eyed Peas. Cooper and I listed to hard core gangsta rap. Here he's clapping to the bass in Big Pimpin'

Hello kind lass. My name is Cooper Show. I like meandering short walks, bananas, and my crocs. This is my pee pee.

On a Jet Plane

Cooper has taken to pointing to the sky whenever he hears a noise and yelling something. I think he's saying "bird," Michelle thinks he's saying "plane." So basically, we're not sure. This morning I decided it would be a bright idea to take him to the airport overlook park and watch the planes take off. When we got there we were one of three cars in a beat down gravel lot with a barbed wire fence and three park benches. Luckily I dressed Cooper like Baby Redneck so I think the other people there were probably afraid to mess with us.
You'll notice a car in the background. Five cars pulled up while we were there. They watched planes take off and then drove away. I find this both fascinating and scary. Who goes to the airport to watch planes take off?

You'll notice a garbage can located between Cooper and the plane about to take off. The park only had two rules listed on the sign at the entrace: No Drinking and Dispose Of All Garbage. There were beer cans laying all over the place.

Excuse Me

You don't need much commentary for this one. Cooper. Michelle. Fart machine. Hilarity.